Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The end of the world [scientifically silly]

As a expert in the very scientific field of sillyology (a slightly more serious field that scientologie... ) I am privy to many secret you the common non sillyologist folk never heard about. One such secret, it comes as not surprise I am sure, is how the universe will end, but right now what really interest you is how the world will end and since it will happen 20 years, 2 month, 32 days and 22 hours after the end of the universe it is logical that you do so. Now since I don't want to break the secret oath that we sillyologist swear when we first dance the macarena, I will give you a number of possible scenario one of which is close enough to the truth that you will be completely surprised to realise you are living the end of the world even after having being death for eons.

Scenario 1: Human Folly

No, this is not cause by the lack of common sense in humanity, it is cause by a since human named Folly, Folly Fisher to be exact. Well her parent wanted to name her Solly Sisher but when they realised that her initial would be SS they changed it, beside how weird a name is Solly Sisher? so anyway, Folly will destroy the world by a combination of genius and bad luck well that an a really huge fucking gun. So huge in fact that calling it a gun would be a be like calling a Three headed Chrepuklarea from Zecktys V a two headed zimbaconi. Folly built it to be able to launch the world across dimensional boundary to dimension Beta-Beta-Max where the universe never collapsed thanks to the survival of the beta max technology. How Folly got founding for her HFG no one really know but the jokes in sillyologist circle is that she blew the director... well enough humor. Suffice to say that when the earth was fitted in the HFG and shot at the dimensional boundary it shatter in billions of really tiny piece because like every sillyologist knows nothing can cross dimensional boundary without an healthy cheese to guide the way, and that in that time cheese have been extinct on Earth for more then 35 billions seconds.

Scenario 2: Dimensional collapse

As every sillyologist know very well, collapsing universe have a tendency to take some dimension with them. That proved to be quite a problem for 3 dimensional being like human and space turtle, well less for space turtle then human but I,m sure you understand why. Well to be honest not really since human had finally evolved into an higher state of being namely beans, and space turtle can shift dimension at will provided they have an healthy supply of Parmesan. Anyway the collapsing of the 3rd dimension turned the earth in a finite flat surface, making the end of the earth....

Scenario 3: Penguin

One little know very well established fact in sillyology is that you can always blame penguin for any problem with the fabric of the space time continuum. You see penguin are part black hole and part white hole making their present capping hole in the space time continuum that constantly spite out matter that it instantly reabsorbed by their half black hole part. How the first penguin evolved is best left to the following story: never leave beer, a black hole and a white hole alone for too long. How as understandably skeptic people you ask, but penguin exist now how come the end of the world didn't happen yet. Well you see the end of the world is not caused by the existence of penguin but by the annihilation of a penguin with an anti penguin (a white and black penguin in layman's term) You see when the extremely rare anti-penguin (lets call him Girard) meet a penguin a little heard of phenomenon that we sillyologist call the big bang happens, and big bang often lead to the destruction of everything around them. That why the great act of Piretreta F allowed the hunt to near extinction of all Girard.

Scenario 4: Stupidification of the human race

Human scientist have observed for millenia that stupid people seems to breed faster and in larger quantity then non-stupid people, this lead to a general lowering of the intelligence of the species. The human species is almost unique in the universe in the sense that it never developed safe guard again this process and by the time the universe ends is too stupid to realise that the universe has ended and that they should all die. And so by share wealth of their collective stupidity they hold the world together for a few years. What happens afterward is a dramatic prove to the theory that genius is close to insanity, because you see the highest level of stupid are insane. And on that day someone is born that is so stupid he is so insane that actually he is a genius and as a genius he quickly understood that the universe was dead and that the human should have died with it. This realisation shattered the carefully built stupidity bubble around the earth and cause it instant destruction.

I'm sorry but I cannot give you any hint on which one of those scenarios are truth. but frankly i can't believe that penguin will cause the end of the world, they are so lovable particularly when they are all fluffy and stuff.

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