Sunday, August 21, 2005

Answering yofed comment...

Hi faithful reader that where waiting for an answer to yofed comment. Well before I do that I will start by saying that I had not planned to answer at first. I had mainly one reasons for this, one that I felt that I would sound defensive or offensive and write things that I may not have mean (this was a few minutes after reading the comments mind you). But now that I have thought about it and that yofed really seems to want an answer I will give you a something kinda like it. Before I do let me thank Yofed, it really touching that you care about me so passionately and so much. Thank you very much.

Let me start by answering directly yofed comment: It is a lot easier to stay in love than to fall in love, the whole inertia thing... Which mean that I would not divorce her (if we had been married in the first place which isn't a given) and knowing myself I'd say I'd probably stay attracted to her. I know this lesson that beauty fade or is replace by a different kind of beauty. That said I have to put a little rain on that parade.. There is a level of fat I am sure I would not be still attracted to and that would cause serious relationship problem if me or my future love reached, that of the morbidly obese or even close to it. If obesity start to be a problem in my activity slowing the way I walk or making me breathless when I play the computer (I have a friend who had reached this stage.. He is currently working to get back in shape but trust me it is scary) or do any other none stressious activity it needs to change.

Now an answer to yofed's post before I go into what I will call the main part of this post... You can tell you're man that by is criterion I've won the lottery a few times already. And reassure your mother in law I am not sad, slightly lonely but not sad. Fantasy world? hmm might be nice but if I'm gonna have a fantasy world I'll make sure there is a fantasy girl for me you know ;-) The last comment got me puzzled however, cause well I know I am unsure/insecure about my appearance and maybe this is part of my problem or the whole of it I don't know.. Sound like more introspection for me.

Now for the main part of my post an attempt to clarify what I look for in a woman cause I think people think I'm looking for this red haired slim athletic goddess with three PhD and that can sing (singing is optional of course ;-)). I'm not, but if you see her send her my way k? I'm mainly looking for three things what I call the spark, intelligence, and interest that are well I'll try to define what I mean with interest farther down. Now normally the spark is indefinable and to be clearer to people I say I'm looking for thin, sporty(notice here sporty not athletic... Sporty is active, willing to do sport ready to have fun, athletic is do a lot of sport) woman because those are the majority (not the entirety) of woman where I have seen this spark. Ok now for the hard part, the spark is a kind of quality that you see in a woman eye (in man two but since I'm not looking for man I don't search for it), it a little glimmer that show that she is healthy, that she active, that she cares about life, and other less definable things. It is something very hard for me to describe but that I know exist with the first look and first few words exchanged. Also it is not a straigh thing, she doesn't have to have all of those thing to have the spark and she might have then all an no spark but most of the time with that they have the spark. Am I clear? No but hey that the best description I can give.

Now, intelligence that doesn't mean a PhD or a bacc or even CEGEP hell there are plenty of intelligent people that did not finish high school. Intelligence is the ability to learn, a willingless to learn and to do things the possibility to hold a conversation even if it is only by asking questions. It's really easy to understand I think. Now, the interest part, I want a girl that has interest close to mine but complementary... That my I don't want a female clone of me side you know. This is my most flexible criteria, I can love people with very few interest that are close to mine, but from experience woman with interest too close to me end up friends instead of love interest I don't know why but it like I'm not attracted to them. Attraction is a weird thing for me, I say that those things are my criteria but if I look back on the woman I have loved in the past none fits all the criteria, all of them fits the spark tho, so that must be what I'm looking for really... An indefinable quality... Must by my romantic side.

1 comment:

yofed said...

Thanks for the answer... I might have other questions later, but I am still hungover, so unable to think straight